In 2002, I had only been married a few months. We were just babies. 22 years old and it felt like we were playing house. Hubby was student teaching and I had taken my first job in ministry. It was a few days before Halloween when I went to the doctor when he delivered the news that I was pregnant and it was not viable. I was offered medication to try and miscarry on my own or I could have a D&C. In an age before cell phones and texting, I took the medication before I could even consult my new husband.
Fast forward a few months to Mothers Day 2003, I was still reeling with hurt. I mourned out lost child. I ached to be pregnant again. I remember having to take the day off from church because the very thought of celebrating a day that was taken from me felt so torturous.
I prayed for a family and in his timing he blessed me over and over with a beautiful family. I could have never guessed that I would be given the gift of these three little ones that call me Mom. I am blessed to still have my Mom in my life. I have the gift of talking to her daily. I get to seek her guidance and feel her hugs.
I write this because I know the pain of pregnancy loss, the shame of being barren, I have held the hand of friends who have lost their mother.
While the world celebrates Mothers, I know so many women sat curled up in a ball like I did 10 years ago.
I just want to say to you that you are not alone. I see you. I hurt for you and I pray for wholeness in your heart. I don’t know the plans or the purpose and I don’t pretend to make sense of it all. But, I do know there is plan and purpose. So know that you are loved and being prayed for.











