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My whole life I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. I remember playing dress up and stuffing a pillow in my top and thinking I am just going to be the cutest pregnant woman. Well, pregnancy certainly hasn’t been achieved easily and I no longer hold on to the dream that I will be one of those cute women with an adorable pregnant belly. I think it is harder to swallow because one upon a time I used to be so skinny. But, Alaina was worth the extra pounds and Sam will be too.
So, here is the almost 27 week belly. At least the pajama pants are cute! And although it doesn’t make a huge difference there is a little shadow by my belly. I will take every little bit that I can to not feel like such a whale.
I can’t get enough ruffles right now. I seem to be putting them on everything. I think this may be me clinging to the fact that the princess still lets me dress her. I can get away with ruffles and hairbows still and if she had her way she would wear pink or purple every day. This fabric is from my stash. It is Tickled Pink by Robyn Pandolph. I got it on sale at Hobby Lobby probably 2 years ago. I love it. Florals didn’t used to be my thing but I do love everything about this fabric!
That being said, I might be in a sewing rut. Not that I don’t want to sew, because I do. Because as tired as pregnancy can make you I can’t lay down or the heartburn makes you feel like you are going to throw up fiery nails. So, if I have to sit up, I might as well be productive. I need some new sewing inspiration. I tend to sew in phases and while I do adore the ruffles and I am thinking the the little man that is growing in me might want me to start sewing something a little less girly.
Oh, and this was the pose that the princess picked. Watch out Tyra..she really thinks she is the next top model.
Depsite the fact that we had snow yesterday and the forecast for this weekend calls for more accumulation I am still feeling a little springy. Maybe longing for spring is a better way to put it. So, what else could I do but sew something and subject my little one to trying it on in the midst of cold weather. No worries, she was back in warm clothes in a matter of minutes. I had to bribe her with fruit snacks to even get her to try it on.
It feels funny to say that I am anxious for spring because while the warmer weather would be a welcome change, the rest of the changes that we are headed for are enough to make my head spin. I am fully aware that I am not the first person in the world to have two kids. Yet, I still can’t fathom it. Having the baby here at home doesn’t scare me, the thought of labor and the first month scares that crap out of me. To reiterate how terrified I am here is a list of the things that worry me most…in no particular order.
- Going into labor. I was induced last time so I never had the joy of having my water break on it’s own. But, during my induction my dr actually said that he has never seen so much fluid. I am terrified that this will happen at church in the middle of teaching a class and having to inform 150 elementary kids that Miss Stephanie did not just pee her pants, but rather she is about to have a baby.
- Should I involve Alaina in the birth. She loves the baby shows and sort of knows where the baby comes from. Don’t want to traumatize her but I don’t want to leave her out. There are a list of people who I don’t want in the room during the process. Last time my mom was fasting and passed out when she came into see Alaina and my mother in law refused to leave the room as I was getting stitched up from second degree bilateral tears because my mom was in there. Yep, let that visual stick in your head…spread eagle with your mom passed out on the chair next to you and your mother in law just watching the least glamourous part of the entire birthing process. Aww, memories.
- What if I need a c section? Baby is flipped transverse breech right now which means he is completely horizontal. I don’t know how he is comfortable there he is constantly kicking and punching my sides. The pain in my ribs have subsided but I will take that back if it will get him back in the right position. I had a dream last night that my uterus was like an airline flight and the voice of a flight attendant trying to guide him into the correct position. I don’t want to get into what the flotation devices were but I digress, pregnancy has made my brain mush.
- Europe. Two weeks after the baby is due my husband is going to Europe for two weeks. It has been planned and paid (he is a teacher and is practically going for free!) for almost 2 years. He can’t not go. Who can pass on that kind of a trip and experience? But, I am still really scared of being well enough to take care of 2 kids during that time.
I told you I was a nervous wreck. Yet despite all of my worries I really can’t wait for Sammy to get here. I can’t wait to see Lainey as a big sister. Oh, and how this post originally started…I really want some warmer weather.
The princess turned 5 this weekend. I braced myself for this milestone birthday but didn’t prepare for a call from my parents who had her the night before saying they were taking her to the ER and that she was having trouble breathing. It flooded us with worry since we knew that another respitory issue would be the last straw before she needed to be tested for Cystic Fibrosis. We tried to shy away from the diagnosis but 3 bouts of pneumonia, bronchitis and croup all within 9 months seemed to be pointing in that direction. So, I stayed home from work and went back and forth of whether we should cancel her party. In the end we still had the family over but my emotions were on total overload. Maybe it was pregnancy, maybe it was the mama bear in me but when my brother in law said he couldn’t risk his kids getting sick and that he didn’t think he was bringing his boys up, I lost it. I tried to call him back and got his voicemail and basically cried my eyes out and begged him not to disappoint Alaina on her birthday. She wasn’t contagious and with all of the medical worries we were stressing about….I just couldn’t bear having her suffer. I know they thought I was nuts and a few hours later they did come. I wanted to explain it all then but knew I couldn’t without breaking down.
Even though her little party was small she still had a great time. I finished her High School Musical knot top in just a knick of time and made her a little mini cake and star cakes.
and of course she got gifts!
She didn’t act sick the whole day. I was so proud of her for being a trooper even though she had to slow down when she had trouble breathing. So, bright and early on Monday morning we went to the dr and were thrilled to find out that it is not CF, but it is Asthma. So, now she will be a girl with the epi pen and the inhaler. Which made me cry again. It isn’t the end of the world, I just can’t believe for almost 8 months we have had so many chronic respitory issues and worries about the worst case scenarios and all of it was potentially caused by untreated asthma?! I just wish that they could have considered this months ago and maybe just maybe we could have saved her from a lot of pain.
I am so blessed to have such an amazing little girl, I just want her to be happy and healthy!
The princess is turning five this weekend! I am excited and sad at the same time. It feels like yesterday I was pregnant…oh wait…I was pregnant yesterday and still am today. But, it feels like I just had her. I remember anxiously and nervously driving her home from the hospital and taking her to church for the first time. Our struggles to perfect breastfeeding and holding our breath to see if she would say mama or dada first. (FYI, I won that!) Cosleeping, waiting for her to take her first steps and running instead, her silly “pirate” face and the her love affair with all things Wiggles. I just can’t believe how 5 years can seem so long and yet so short. She has been the light of my life and my constant reminder of how amazing God is to handpick and create this child for me to love and care for. Being pregnant again now only makes my feelings on this that much more mushy.
Here are a few of her pictures from her big five year portrait sessions. Somone hold me…time is going by too quickly!
Also, it must be some kind of record since I sewed the pants and appliqued the shirt yesterday and had pics taken the same day. I had made these pants (exactly) once before and in a matter of months she outgrew them. So, like any rational pregnant woman I cried about it and made a new pair.
My mom sent a sweater that was mine when I was little in hopes that she could wear it for Valentines Day. We tried it on the princess today and it was too small. I am bummed that it won’t work. But, I don’t think sweaters that show your belly button will be in style anytime soon. But, I still snapped a picture that you couldn’t see how small it really was.
But, it was a good excuse to make her something new for Valentines Day! I have had the large heart fabric for probably 2 years from a good deal from the $1 bin at Walmart and found the smaller heart fabric at Joann’s recently. This little knot dress took about an 1.5 from cutting to sewing. I think bribing her to get a picture of her in it took the most time. Once again, she is happy with it which makes it all worth it to me.
So, she didn’t like the sleeves on the original shirt so before school I whipped up another shirt. Part deux….finally a success in her book!
